SYNAPSE SLIPS and sometimes SOLILOQUIES

Capt. Richard J. Rogers USN (Ret) Oct. 9, 1929 -May 25, 2012

Today (Friday) Rich, aka Dick, aka Sug aka Captain RIchard J.Rogers, USN (Ret) died at 1:30PM here at home. His death was peaceful and I am greatly relieved. I'll miss him forever, but this has been a long difficult decline. "Fair Winds and Following Seas" my love.

Warning: more on death and dying--Rich is still with us at Noontime

This AM around 8AM I came downstairs happy to see Rich was not in distress and the catheter was still in place.  I did my best to change his position.  He's still semi- alert...voice very, very weak and difficult to understand.  Around an hour ago (11AM) he did slowly and clearly say "I don't know what's going on"....this is the exact thing my brother Jim said a few days before dying.

I told Rich he was getting ready to meet Chi Chi (the name the grandkids called his mother), his Dad, neice Monica and his siblings.  Plus my brothers and parents will greet him.  I told him we don't know if the body will arrive at some point, but we do believe our spirt, our essence or you might call it 'soul' will go on, and they are always with us.  At least always in our memories.

I decided at 8AM to give him Morphine.  He wasn't in distresss, but not as comfortable as I want him to be.  A little while later I gave him his heart medicine and Ativan diluted in a spoon of h20 and some cranberry sauce.  Been giving him jello spoonsfull periodically as his mouth is so dry.

A little while ago I called the nurse to once again find out when I could repeat the Morphine.  I told the nurse the dose on the bottle is soooo small.  0.25 ml contains just 5mg of morphine.  Heck, we always gave 10 mg or grs. 1/6 to patients.  She said it was OK to bump it up gradually as I felt he needed it.  So the next dose will be 10Mg.  I am determined to keep him peaceful.  Asked when we give Atropine...."when he sounds congested to the naked ear"...no stethoscope needed.  It's soooo drying so I don't want to give it until it's really necessary.  I can call back whenever I want reassurance about the Morphine. 

Lydia called to ask if she could help me in any way.  I told her Lissa was coming this afternoon to help turn him;  Lydia said she would come to help us.

The Home Health Aide will come to give him a bath of some sort and change him.   

Talked with cousin Helen last night ...they were thinking of coming this w/e to be with me.  They already had planned to visit their daughter in WI.  I told Helen that Rich really can't talk now and I'm not up to 'visiting'.  I suggested she and Jack come when we have a memorial service....Time and Date undetermined.  It's comforting just to know they are with us in spirit.  

Rich's remaining sibling (Helena aka Lana Banana) called last night.  I knew she'd cry ...she's a very emotional person.  She said to tell him she was supposed to die before him, because she's 3 years older than he.  She's had a stroke and a heart attack and lives in a very nice assisted living facility.  She takes her Oxygen cart with her to happy hour and still enjoys her wine etc.  She's 85 and was an airline hostess for Brannif years ago.   Her daughter Monica was a favorite niece of Rich.  Monica was a physician and died in her early 40s of advanced breast cancer.  She'd had Hodgkins as a pre college student and did quite well.  She has two super kids in their 20s.

I think I am at peace.  I'm ready to 'let go'..I want it to be over, and I want Rich to be out of this difficult passage he's been through.  I've told him I am OK and I will be fine.  I told him he's been the best thing in my life and he always made me feel special even when I didn't feel special.  God, I'll miss this man.

Just gave him Morphine 10 mg.  I'm not worrying anymore about skin breakdown....now the plan is to make him as peaceful as possible. 

Lissa can't come today, but her friend Lydia will be here around 8PM to help me turn him before I go to bed.  I told her I have chicken noodle soup in the slow cooker, and to save her appetite.

The aide is coming at 2:30.

Of course the dryer dial is broken....I have a call into a repair man we've used before and he'll be here around 4PM.

Also I don't feel any air coming from the Oxygen concentrator...so I'll call the O2 folks.  

Time now.....1:22PM

 

 

Busy day continues

I'm beat.  Up at 7:30AM ...changed Rich....he's now dead weight.  I decided I cannot turn him alone.   I called Hospice and told them I want them to insert a Foley Catheter so I won't have to turn him to change the diapers.  

Emelda (Senior Corps person--private pay) came at 10AM as I wanted.  I left for the Navy Base to get my decal which is due to expire the end of the month.   Wouldn't you know....the system is down and they don't have any....don't know when they'll get more.  Went next door to the Commissary to pick up paper goods and a few other essentials like a 10 pack of Oreos at 100 Cal/pak.  Maybe I won't eat so many this way.  Then again maybe I'll just keep opening the single packs.  

Rich was more alert in the afternoon.  Still only taking sips of water and sips of instant breakfast made with milk.  I purchased some jello which will provide fluids and a few calories.

The nurse came to insert the foley.  He cried in pain while it was being inserted...he must have scar tissue in the urethra.  Anyhow, he will be dry, and the skin will not breakdown so quickly.  The sacral area is getting red.  We use a protective ointment which is good, but without protein the skin breaksdown on bony prominences which he certainly has. 

Maggie (nurse) told me I could give him some liquid morphine if the bladder spasm persists and it's OK if I'd just given him Ativan which I did.  The morphine will relax the smooth muscle of the bladder.  I gave him 5mg of liquid Morphine orally at 4PM.  That's a very small dose.

He won't be able to swallow the Seroquel and I don't want to use the Haloperidal so we'll try to manage him with Ativan.  Maggie called in an order for liquid Ativan.  She changed the bed and put  a dry pad under him.   I can't believe she does this alone and sees six patients a day.  Of course some are not so involved, but still, 6 is a lot.

She went over the use of Morphine and Atropine as the end of life approaches.  She suspects because of his heart failure he will become congested and I'm to call them and they'll direct me how to use the meds from the comfort pack they provided.

I told her I was not giving any more laxatives; if she insisted she would have to come clean him up herself.  We laughed and she agreed it was OK.  

I'm having Emelda come back in the evenings to help get him turned for bedtime.  She wants to earn more money so she's very willing.  She's good too.  Tomorrow though I only have the Hospice Home Health Aide for an hour in the afternoon.  Since the catheter will keep him dry..I should be OK....sure hope so.

Window person coming to measure the windows that need replacement under warranty.  Lifetime warranty.  I was ready to pay $1500 for three new windows until neighbor Jean told me to call the company that installed these.  Since we're the original owner I only have to pay for installation $150.00.   Thank you niece Terry for telling me to stop the order from Sears.

Terry called last night and it was so good to talk with her.  She's a loyal reader of my blog and we play Words With Friends online and she kills me.  Sometimes I use my cheat sheet, but not as much as in the beginning. 

I have to do some online banking now and also renew my car registration online.  Saves $5.00 if you renew registration online..

Tuesday

This is really difficult.  I knew it would be, but I didn't really know.  I'm half nurse and half wife.  I'm trying to just be a wife...not easy.  I'm strong as his nurse, but I cry myself to sleep at night when the thought of all the things we'll never again do together.

Rich and I did most things together.  We weren't 'glued at the hip' so to speak...I had my interests, and he had his daily goings on.  Now, I don't even feel like eating.  I passed the seafood place today and thought Tuesday we do Salmon.  No desire.  I know this will pass, but it's difficult to process it.

Each day he declines even more.  I had no idea it would be so fast.  I just bought him new slacks and smaller underwear two weeks ago.  Guess I'll be donating those things to 'Samaritan House'.  He was ambulating 5 days ago with the walker.  I can't stand to use the word 'pass' when someone dies.  Yet I understand the euphemism so many folks nowadays choose.  It used to be the African/Americans talked about someone 'passing'.  Just the other night at Croakers' with my nieces and Lissa...someone mentioned someone 'passing' and of course I had to say..."wait a minute....people die...they do not pass".   Anyhow I believe Rich will die in the next few days.  Swallowing is more difficult now.  He can hardly speak.  He's still conscious.  I talk to him all the time telling him I will miss him like crazy, and if he wants to stay longer, we've now got the help I need.  However, if he's worn out it's OK to just 'let go'.   

 His torso is almost skeletal covered with skin.  He must have an occult cancer somewhere.  The primary said it was cardiac cachexia....and I guess that's what it is.  The heart can't pump nutrients to where they are needed.

Nieces Kitty and Rose's husband came down on Saturday.  We went to Croakers' for dinner.  Lissa joined us.  Barry the owner stopped by and asked "where's my man?".  Carolyn the hostess and Chris the manager all were saddened to learn about his ill health.  We ate there often and once they opened for lunch last October, Rich stopped by almost every day.  He regaled them with stories and they loved him.  Then the big depression took over.

He's still worried the sherrif will come and take everything we have.  I give him Ativan and it seems to help the obsession.  I told him "the sherrif won't get you now....you'll be in heaven"....not sure how he heard that statement.

While Kitty was here...she's a former Hospice nurse and now the Director of a Long Term Care facility outside Phila....she jumped right in to work on Rich.  She is fantastic.  She showed me some helpful tips on moving him and other things.   She said we need to get him into the hospital bed.  I told her he was using it during the day, but wanted to be in our bed.  The great room is very bright in the AM and he doesn't like that.  Well he's sleeping most of the time now and I started thinking how was I going to get him into that room into the hospital bed.

Lissa's brothers had offered earlier to help in any way and she was going to check their schedules.  I planned to have them move our Queen bed closer to the window and then bring the Hospital bed into our room.  That Queen bed would be very, very difficult to budge.

I'd asked Rich jr if he had any strong guys who might help and he emailed me back that he did not and my best bet would be to go with Tim and Gary (Lissa's brothers).

Not sure if I posted before.  On Saturday Rich jr did come to the house to talk with his Dad.  I was at a pottery class and Lydia was 'sitting'.  After the visit Rich jr called me to ask where the 'trains' from his childhood were.  I wanted him to take them.  He talked almost non stop for about 40 minutes saying how good the visit was.  Then he went on to tell me things about his 'parenting' tests.   At the end I said..."Rich where are you with me?"  He said "well Patti...time does help, but I can't take anymore emotional flareups (my word).....".   Just two days prior he emailed me "let me make this perfectly clear, I will not see my father as long as you are in the house".   Who knows.  He changes his demeanor at will, it appears.

I'm glad he saw his Dad...

Janice had come to town from where she lives near DC.  She stayed with her Dad while my nieces etc went to dinner.  I took her back into the room where her Dad is and said ..."OK you two, I don't want any bull shit talk,  I want you to communicate.  You used to be very close and very good friends.  This is your time to reconnect".   Janice later said it was a a good visit.  I didn't ask anyone about what was said....this was their time to be with their Dad.

The next day (Sunday) nieces were heading back to Phila/NJ.  Kitty told me she was going to call Hospice and tell them they were to give me an aide 5X/wk.  She said they appear to be 'directing' me in the care instead of providing the help.  She wanted the Social worker back.  

Well...yesterday (Monday) ...an RN visited and then the chaplain.  The HHA coordinator called to set up an aide for me Tues/ Thurs and the weekend.  I have the Senior Corps helper (I pay her) on M-W-F for 4 hours.

Monday I had to give Rich suppositories and an enema.  I must have had to change him 5 times or even 6.  I was wiped out big time by bedtime.  Thank God I'm getting more help.  The nurse told me to give him 2 of the Senna tabs....she can forget that.....he eats enough to feed a bird and drinks very little so I will definitely let nature take its course on this one.

Chaplain Chris knocked on the door ..also the result of Kitty's call to Hospice about my needing to be treated more like a wife and forget I'm a nurse.  He was wonderful.  He told me he was here as much for me as for the patient.  I started right off  by telling this Bible believer Nazereen minister I did not buy into dogma or theology of any of the religions.  He was very non judgmental.  I told him I just don't know the answers and I truly do believe that God will take care of us.

We talked about a memorial service of some sort.....my nieces and Lissa think it's essential...so we'll do a celebration here at the house and Chaplain Chris said he'd be glad to lead it.  I think it's appropriate as he is a former Navy Chaplain (Marine) My nieces will come back and Lissa and the kids plus neighbor Jean..maybe neighbor Jessica and possibly Rich's friend Phil.  I'll let Janice and Rich jr know when we'll do it and I'll try and coordinate everyone's schedule.

I tried to change Rich tonight and I cannot turn him.  He is dead weight and can help minimally.  I gave him some grapefruit sections....a little half strength Instant Breakfast and frequent sips of water.  That's it.

Niece Terry called while I was typing this.  She says I sound so much better than the last time.  It does help to have outside help.  After tonight I'm going to ask Emelda if she will do a split shift...10-2 PM and maybe 5-9....that way I'll help turning him.

I had a tough time trying to reconnect the oxygen humidifier...had to call and have someone talk me through it.  I think this adapter is a wrong fit.  We haven't used the oxygen, but I thought tonight he might benefit from some.  

If I missed something here, I'll add it tomorrow or the next day.  This is the way I keep up with changes. 

Thought I'd better drop in and say hello family and friends. Tomorrow I should be able to catch up. I have a helper tomorrow, thank God. Rich is declining rapidly. Still conscious, but too weak to even sit up. Praying this won't go on much longer, he's so weak and tired----me too.

Pitiful....as we say in the deep South

Rich jr was supposed to come to visit his Dad last Friday.  I asked him to come Saturday as Friday was not a good day.  He said he would be out of town over the weekend...and asked for another time.  Today (Tuesday) looked good as I had an eye appt and several errands.

Last evening I emailed him to get an idea how long he thought he might be here.  "About an hour" he replied.  

I asked if he could stay longer as I wouldn't get back from the eye appt before he left, and I wasn't comfortable leaving his Dad alone.  He did not respond to that email message.  I emailed him again this morning ....he simply responded "I'll be there at 2PM and gone at 3PM".     I knew I could not make it in one hour so I cancelled my eye appt and emailed him that I would be here in the house since I cancelled.  If he'd answered my email that he would agree to staying longer I would not have cancelled.  I can always reschedule so that's not a problem.

He said he would not see his Dad with me in the house.  

Just this AM I received a call from an attorney's office saying Rich had listed me as a witness to concur about Lissa's mistreatment of him.  Does he really think I would say anything helpful to his cause even if she did do or say anything?   Of course there were little things she'd said about him, but nothing most couples don't say in one way or another.  

I emailed him asking--- since he wouldn't see his Dad as long as I'm in the house why would he list me to support his case?  Baffles me.  I hope his girlfriend is still reading this blog and tells him about this.

I told him I have not been involved in his divorce proceedings nor do I want to be.  He didn't even have the courtesy to tell me he'd given my name to his attorney.  

I then asked him why he would stab his father in the heart by refusing to see him as long as I'm in the house.  Is his hatred for me stronger than any feeling for his Dad?  I did not tell his Dad any of the above.

I don't need any of this.  I'm doing the best I can to care for his father and he doesn't even ask how he is.   It baffles me.  He can say 'I love you Dad', but his behavior shows he couldn't care less and that my readers is pitiful.

The hospice nurse came today.  She said to go up to the full dose of Lexapro...so I will tonight.  His B/P was OK, but he was/is too weak to walk so he stayed in our bed all day.  I got him dressed this AM, but he couldn't do it.   When Emelda (my helper) starts Friday...maybe we can get him into the transport w/c my neighbor gave us and get him into the living room again.  

A little while ago one of the little boys from across the street knocked on the door and handed me a bowl of spaghetti his mom made for us.  Isn't that sweet?   Rich doesn't feel like eating...he never does, but often he will eat if I put something in front of him.  So tonight I'll dine in our bedroom with him at an overbed table for two. 

Lydia (Lissa's friend) called from the road on her way back from Pittsburgh....she'll come tomorrow and help with cleaning and be here for Rich while I go to see my own therapist.  Boy do I need my therapist.  I'll also run some errands.  

Got a FB message that niece Meg will also come down Saturday with her daughter and sisters.  I can't wait to be with them.  Hopefully they got a room down the street at the Resort Hotel...it's within walking distance.  I think I'll ask Lydia or Emelda to sit while I go to dinner for some bonding time with them.  I need it.

Here's us today.

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Mother's Day Weekend

Today, Monday I cancelled the dentist.  Magically the 'brewing' problem in my molar is gone.  The dentist always advises to rinse with warm water and saline...I did...maybe that was the magic.  Whatever.  It's gone and I don't have to go.

Saturday was a hard day.  Of course the bowel interventions recommended by the nurses did not work.  I told them he needed an old fashioned SSE (soap suds enema).  They didn't think they had an enema bag...they only use Fleets.  With his kidney not up to par Fleets are not wise.  Too hard on the kidney.  But at this point the occasional Fleet won't hurt.  Anyhow, they don't work for him as they used to.  

Finally late Saturday the on-call RN came to do the enema. She'd gone back to the office to get the bag.  When she came in she said she'd never given one of these.  Give me a break.  I never should have owned up to being a RN many moons ago.  So there I was the instructor once more...teaching her how to prepare the bed, patient and then administer enema.  It gave fair results.  I must say this RN is a lovely person and very good for Hospice.  

We talked about what's going on with Rich and I told her "I feel like I'm waiting for him to die"....to which she clearly said "you are."  I've known it, but to hear it is still a punch in the heart.  She was very good in helping me accept the inevitable.  I must not keep thinking I need to help him get better and therefore he has to eat, drink, move around....no, no...the whole goal is 'comfort'.  Of course we will try to prevent complications like bowel problems or decubiti (bedsores).

That night I went to bed exhausted.  The clear statement from the nurse helped me make a decision.  I am definitely getting help.  

Today I interviewed two women and one of them is a graduate nurse waiting to take her boards.  She is from Cameroon and already has a BA in History.  Now she has her BSN and is going for her MSW (Master's in Social Work).  She has plenty of time with school over and she says she can help anytime. 

She charges $15/hour and I will use her every Mon...Wed...and Friday from 9:30AM until 1:30PM.  Once pottery class resume at the Rec center in June, I will have her on Fridays from 9:30 until 3:30pm.  This seems too good.  $9000+/yr is much better than $65,000 at a nursing home.  I'll use her more as Rich's health continues to deteriorate. 

The second woman was very nice but I only interviewed her on the phone (my choice).  She lives too far out to come here for a 'meet and greet'.

Emelda will begin this Friday.  I cancelled the chaplain...Rich asked me to do so.  I told the chaplain I'd call him as needed.

A volunteer will come on Tuesday afternoons starting next week for 4 hours and I think Lydia will clean for me every two weeks.  Lydia needs extra cash so we'll be helping each other.

Yesterday Mother's Day was a beautiful day weather wise.  I'd gotten beautiful daisies from my God-daughter Rosemarie, and gorgeous tulips form Lissa, Brooke and Trevor. Didn't get to see them because Trevor was in Richmond playing soccer and Lissa and Brooke were strawberry picking in Pungo.

 

When I went outside I saw my neighbor with whom we'd (Rich and I) had a falling out some time ago.  We didn't speak other than hello for over a year.  She waved....I said "Happy Mother's Day" and we walked toward each other.  She asked how Buck (his other name) was and she was saddened to hear of his decline.  We hugged.  We apologized to each other and now we're fine.  It felt so good.  

Then back in the house Lissa's brother Gary called.  He wanted to let me know he is available in any way to help with Rich.  Gary and I had a major blowup over Lissa and Rich about six months ago, but we're fine now.  Lissa's other brother Tim had offered his help when Rich was in the hospital.   Kinda sad isn't it that Rich's own son is withholding any help all because he's angry with me?  Why he can't see beyond me and want to be with his father at this time is so hard to understand.   Rich jr did call to say he wanted to come by (alone) to say goodbye to his father.   By alone he means for me to disappear.  I will do whatever has to be done for Rich's children to be with their father at this time...for Rich sr and Rich jr....and Janice who will come next weekend.   Rich jr said he will come by tomorrow (Tuesday) at 1:30PM. 

Today Rich is still obsessing.  He's in such emotional pain.  I gave him Ativan and it helps a little.  He ate a very small bowl of tastee o's this AM.  Nothing else.  I hope he can eat a little of the chicken tenders I'm making tonight.

Tomorrow I will go to the eye doctor while Rich jr is here.  Then I have a few errands.  I emailed Rich jr to ask how long he thought he'd be here.

Rosemary commented that Rich seemed to like being on camera.  I think he did.  Glad I did it.  Not sure if or when we can do it again.  However with heart failure the patients can rally and then crash.  So as the nurse said it is waiting for him to die.  He is slowing down every day but he's not actively dying yet.

I'm so grateful this Senior Corps connection seems like it'll work out.  I really don't want Rich to go to a Nursing Home...not only for him, but I don't want to have to go there every day.  This way I'll be with him all night and every afternoon.  

Yesterday (Mother's Day) Lissa posted this picture of her Mom (now in Heaven), me and Brooke and Trevor.  I love it.  I think Trevor is adorable here....of course Brooke is too...but I love seeing him trying to get that cake to his mouth.

Trevor was 3/12 (now 13) and Brooke just six months old.

Lissa asked me to send photos of our cars.....she's lining up potential buyers...here's one of the Acura SUV '02 (110,000) and the BMW '03 (85,000 miles). If interested, $9,000 OBO.

 

 

Pretty good day today

Busy day coordinating who's coming to 'support' us.  I must say the people from Hospice are very kind and giving.  They offer many suggestions and I learned of some very good resources today. 

Let's see there is a nurse, a social worker, a chaplain, a volunteer and a home health aide.  Then all the meds you get gratis plus the durable medical equipment (hospital bed, commode, over bed table and Oxygen) would cost a fortune without this Medicare benefit Hospice can provide.

However.....all that is good, but I'm afraid when you are the primary care giver....you are the 'doer'.  Those team members aren't there when you have to clean the patient....maybe the HHA isn't coming for 3 days and maybe the patient is incontinent of feces all night long.  

I think it must be much easier to care for the patient who is bed bound.  Rich tries to walk (with his walker) from the bedroom to the living room and so far ...no problems.  But I feel like I have to be close by. 

I'm learning to shift from being an acute care nurse trying to prevent problems and coming up with solutions to problems.  Now, the focus is on 'comfort'.  If he doesn't want to wear the O2....let it be.  If he doesn't want to eat or drink....OK.....follow his lead.  We still do our best to prevent decubiti (bedsores)....because then infection can set in and bedsores can be painful for the patient.   Bowel management is a bigee.  I'm to give him Dulcolax suppositiory every 3 days.  I hope it helps get him regulated.  My back is breaking cleaning him up.  I could just leave him in diapers, but I'm not ready to do that.  If he wasn't alert, I would.  I do have him wear depends underwear, but I change it whenever it needs changing.

Today I gave him Ativan first thing in the AM and again around 4PM because he was so nervous about our finances.  The nurse thought Haldol might help or maybe increasing the Seroquel would help.  She will consult with the Hospice Med Director for guidance.  I'm reluctant to start anything new e.g. Haldol, but I'll do what the Hospice folks say to do.  That's what Rich's cardiologist said two ago...let them manage things.  

I feel like I have a problem molar brewing and my Dentist could get me in tomorrow at 8AM.  Too early.  I'll wait until Monday at 4PM and take Aleve.  I guess it'll be a root canal down the road.  The pain is not sharp...more like pulsating.  Infection may be starting.  Geez, one more thing. 

Took photos of the Acura SUV and BMW to send to Lissa who is helping find buyers.  She already has folks interested.  

Here we are again this afternoon.  He looks better when he's higher up in the bed.

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Fantasy went poof

Chaplain Chris is a very nice man, but I'd fantasized he would look different.  He's a nice looking man, trim with a good personality.  He came to the front door looking spiffy...wearing his Texas cowboy hat.  He said he has boots too, but didn't wear them.

He's a wonderful listener and also likes to tell tales of his time as Marine.  He has a daughter who is an ICU nurse in Kansas.  Rich grew up in Kansas City, MO and Chris pastored a church there.  He went to the Nazerene Seminary which sort of turned me off, but he didn't preach.....well he had to mention a little tiny bit of the bible, didn't he? He sang a hymn before he left and held our hands and asked if he could pray with us.  It was nice.  He will come once a week.  I think Rich had a positive response to him...not spiritually, but a new person and a male.

Lydia came and I went to my doc.  He said not to worry about my Iron level ...it would be a concern pre menapause.  My hgb (hemaglobin) was AOK.  He thought I could just take one Ferro Sequel every other day.

Stopped at subway and then got lots of essentials at the commissary.  

I guess I need to eat more beef.  I thought I was wonderful backing down our beef intake, but apparently it's the best form of Iron.  Supplements, sweet potatoes, and spinach etc are very good sources, but beef is the best.

Called Senior Corps and I will be interviewing two women on Monday to help with Rich's care...I'm thinking 4 hours on Monday and 6 on Friday so I can go back to pottery.  Each worker sets their own pay rate.  

Terry left a message on the machine which was a bit garbled since she was at a 'field' day I think watching the kids compete.

Rosemarie and John sent me a beautiful daisy plant with butterflies....signed Happy Mother's Day.....Godmother, Aunt, Friend.  What a sweetheart.  I called her and they will get a room at the Resort Hotel on the bay which is within walking distance from our house.  They'll come down Saturday the 19th and head home Sunday.  John is coming too---along with Kitty, Meg and Clare.

Lissa sent a delicious flounder platter from Croaker's via Lydia.  I added some sweet potato rounds ( peel the potato....cut it into approx 1/2 inch discs...add a little olive oil and cinnamon and pop them a hot oven for about 10 minutes) plus sauteed spinach and it was good.  

Good talk with Janice.  She has communicated with Rich jr.  He sent me an email that he wants to visit his Dad this Friday.  Great.  I'll go shopping while he's here.  They can have some father/son time.  

Rich had a 'good' day today, but I think I kept him up too long.  He's wiped out now.  I've put the O2 on him and will try to get him to keep it on until he falls asleep.  He'll be fine.  

Here's another video we did this afternoon

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Got a call from the Hospice Chaplain.  I think I'm in love again.  Remember how I said I'm in love with my breast surgeon (Rich knows about my fantasies)....well I talked with this chaplain today and what a sweetheart with a very sexy voice.  Cathy, tell Ed he's a retired Navy Chaplain and was a Marine.

He's coming tomorrow....not a preachy guy.  Not even Catholic, but they can administer 'Sacrament of the Sick'  which I'd asked about.  Who knows Rich may not want it.  I gave him background that we were both raised Roman Catholic, but have pretty much given up on the theology and dogmas of all religions.  I still consider myself a believer in many of the RC teachings....not sure where Rich is.  Anyhow, I think the visit will work since both are ex Navy.   Now, if this sexy sounding ex Marine is a sloppy big fat ugly tub....my love fantasy will die on the spot.  I'll get back to you on it.

I got my hair colored, cut and styled while Lydia stayed here.  I'd asked the Hospice folks to have the nurse come after 5PM...well, she came when I wasn't here.  I was not happy and told them he needs an enema.  "Can we come tomorrow?" "No."   I gave it myself and it's a big chore for me.  The nurse called very apologetic about the mix up and will come Thursday after the Social worker visits.  

She was helpful in guiding me with bowel control/management.  I guess because he eats very little solid food the stools will by like 'baby diaper poop'.  Don't you like that description?  However you can change a baby much quicker than an adult.  I noticed a reddened area on the sacrum probably from being on the toilet so long.  I put the protective ointment they gave me on the area.  Hope it doesn't get to be a problem...but it very well may with poor nutrition.

After I gave the enema while he was on the toilet I noticed blood....oh no....I figured I nicked his hemorrhoid.  I went to Rite Aid and got some witch hazel pads and some ointment for it after talking with the Pharmacy at Rite aid.  Also gave him Tylenol which has helped.  Now the gout pain is returning so I'll give him Colcryst (colchicine) for that.

I'm tellin ya...this is full time private duty.  There's a new agency where they screen and do background checks. They offer various levels of care givers so I'm going to check into it...I need someone who can clean him up if I need to go to the doctor...a sitter can't be expected to do that.  I'm thinking of a CNA once or twice a week for 4 hours.

Tomorrow I will see my own doc and go to the commissary while Lydia is here.

I started my ferrous sequels tonight.  When I'd seen my primary last week she thought my aggravated restless legs may be aggravated by a low Fe (Iron) level.  I said "Naw, I had it checked a few yrs ago and it was fine."  Well she emailed me that the blood test came back, and my level is very low...below normal.  She advised Ferrous Gluconate or Ferrous Sulfate, but I got the Ferrous Sequels as they are a bit less constipating according to the pharmacy.  Wonderful, I'm already big time constipated from my nightly Vicodin..now I'll need even more Colace than my nightly 2 capsules.  If the iron will help my Restless legs I can back down on the Vicodin.....sure hope so.  It takes about 3 months of Fe supplement to see if it works.  I looked up the symptoms with low iron....hair loss...yep, it started again.  When I saw my face in the mirror at the beauty shop....I looked ghostly.  No wonder I get fatigued.  No argument from me taking the Iron.

Earlier today I took this video of Rich...he looks good, but under that shirt he looks like an Auschwitz prisoner......no belly at all and he had a big gut.  Shoulder blades protrude and legs and arms are skinny, but face looks good.  

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